In my own experience of being a 'born again' Christian, there has been more than one speed bump along the way. I guess I thought giving my life over to Christ would be this light switch that automatically went from darkness to light. But turns out, that's not the case at all. If anything, I have had to change the light bulb a few times, and the switch itself and even the wiring. What is unfortunate is that I didn't realize how much of a process this was from the start. I really was naive enough to think that I would magically know what it took to be a disciplined, obedient, God-fearing follower of Christ. Although it's been 10 years since I took my first voluntary step with Jesus, I am just now starting to grasp what it means to truly love my Savior. I am by no means completed in my course of learning on what truly pleases God, but I am one step closer. In the words of Joyce Meyer, "I'm not where I need to be but THANK GOD I'm not where I used to be" and that is comforting in and of itself! When I look back at where I was 10 years ago, I am in total disbelief at what kind of person I was then and all the way up until recently.
Here I am, 30 years old....and divorced twice and two children with two seperate dads, neither of which are really in the picture. The mistakes I have made to this point have definitely also happened for a reason I truly believe. Without me falling on my face with one bad decision after another, I may never have fallen on my knees and asked Jesus to help me through it all.
God tells us to not be suprised at the trials we face, and believe me, I'm not anymore! But now, I feel I am more prepared and lean on God for help instead of people or myself. It makes all the difference because Jesus is the ONLY one who has NEVER disappointed me....which also makes me sad that He is usually the first one I don't stand up for....
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