If anybody has seen the movie 'Just Friends', there is a part where Ryan Reynolds is throwing an absolute fit in his car, just freaking out. It is very comical to watch. However, that has been me the last couple weeks.
First and foremost, I love my girls. There is no question about that. But it's mind-blowing how easily everything at home absorbs all the negative things the world throws at you. My job, finances, etc. have been piling on the stress and unfulfillment I would rather do without. I have been a sucky mom. From the moment I pick them up until we go to bed, I'm short-tempered, impatient, and have many childish outbursts; something that resembles a toddler when they don't get their way. If I was still living in the south, particularly Alabama, they would say I was just plain 'ill'. Well I don't want to be that way. I know what I want to act like when I get home but it goes right out the window when Sesley or Eden look my direction the wrong way. I would like to have a hidden camera on me to see how absolutely ridiculous I act.
But let me say, thank God for the wonderful people He has positioned in my life. I don't know what I would do without other believers around to talk to and just vent. It's also amazing the difference prayer makes. I have never been one to have a big strength in prayer. It was never my 'thing' to start up a prayer chain or group, etc. I was more the evangelist type, or counseling type. But I tell ya what, prayer is some powerful stuff. It works, God is always there and hears my cry. I know He will never give me more than I can handle, even though it feels that way to me. I keep forgetting that there will always be fire I will walk through. I also keep forgetting that God will be with me when I do.
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