It is just 3 days away from the end of the worst year of my life. "Oh Happy Day" may be playing at midnight instead of the classic "Auld Lang Syne". This is one I would be ok with losing memory of...and because of events that have happened this year, it's provoked me to write resolutions early, and clearly.
Resolutions not just for 2012, but for the duration of my life..preferably.
1. I have many family members and friends that don't know Jesus, and in turn mock me for lifestyle. As they should. I have been way to 'up and down', 'back and forth'...especially this past year. So this is my public profession, YES I love Jesus and YES I am going to act like it...more than just on Sundays, or when I am really absorbed in the word, but as if a parrot is sitting on my shoulder constantly recording my words and actions and telling the world. I don't know if I was trying to be 'cool' to some of them or just let things they do and say slide because I don't want to confront them on it. Well....this is your warning now, you may unfriend me or unfamily me by the end of 2012 because if you are not a believer/follower in Jesus Christ, I'm going to make you my mission! And if I lose facebook friends because of it, I'm perfectly fine with that.
2. I am going back to school for what I believe is God's calling. I am so excited and focused on this new adventure that I have made a deal with my oldest daughter, Sesley. If she is in ELP in the spring, I will make the Dean's List. I've done it before and have no doubt I can do it again :)
3. Weight has always being my enemy. Im in a constant yo-yo mode with it and it's so frustrating. I'm resolving in this year of greatness to step out of that mindset. Get exercise and eating better to be my default. I want to hunger for it, long for it after a hard day of studying or work. Of course, with that will hopefully come some substantial weight loss as I am not currently in a healthy range. I'm not getting any younger and have to get healthier if I'm going to preach to the Nations about my amazing Savior!
4. I vow to make smarter choices in the relationship realm. I have made some poor choices this year, and previous years. Loneliness is usually where it stems from, that and one of my top love languages, Words of Affirmation. I love to hear how pretty I am....while being held tightly. I usually get in situations that God does not want me even near. So, with God's help I pray I ignore the loneliness and put myself in the arms of my Father, and let Him act as the husband I need in this season. I also am trying to come to grips that I may possibly never have a physical husband again. Therefore, I need to learn how to be content with this life I have now.
5. I think I pretty much suck as a friend somedays. I need to PUT OTHER'S NEEDS BEFORE MINE! This is going to be the toughtest one I think. There are so many people out there I just need to focus on more than I do that really need Jesus and need someone to show them that God does love them. If I would just lose that hour of sleep one night to comfort a friend who is sad or go see that person that is in the middle of a horrible depression....God only knows what could change!
So...that is the list. That is plenty for now, I may add as I perfect these :) Lord, take these requests, show me how to grow into the daughter you want me to be. I wish to make you proud and desire to do your will... I love you Jesus and am excited for this journey with you in 2012!
Amen!
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